


I LIVE YOU EVERYDAY

by yeolallineed



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: EXO AU, I am not going to spoil the story with tags, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform, Surprise Ending, oh it has angst, so read at your own risk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 03:22:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20632274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeolallineed/pseuds/yeolallineed
Summary: What happens when the best day of your life is also the worst? Would you still live it over and over again?





	1. Prologue

****_What happens when the best day of your life is also the worst? Would you still live it over and over again? ?  
_ ** **

** ** ** **

_“What are we doing?” Baekhyun asked after a moment of silence._

_“Stargazing” I replied. _

_"Can you sing for me?” I asked for the second time this night._

_Baekhyun remained silent for a minute._

_“Tomorrow” he said. “I promise I will sing for you tomorrow”_

_That was good enough for me. Tomorrow was a promise I looked forward to._

_For the next few minutes, we looked at the wonders of the universe. Stars were mysterious to me. Much like Baekhyun._

_"Did you know some of the stars that you see right now, have been dead for thousands of years?”_

_“What?” Baekhyun asked in surprise. “How come they’re still visible?”_

_“Light takes time to travel so even if the stars are dead, their light still remains in space, for everyone to see for millions of years after their demise”_

_“And here we were, thinking time travel wasn’t possible”_

_I turned my head and looked at Baekhyun in astonishment. “What do you mean?”_

_“Well” he began, tracing invisible lines in the air, connecting one star with the other, “if we can see a star that has been dead for years and years, aren’t we actually looking through time, rather, travelling in time? Witnessing something that, right at this moment, far out in the galaxy, isn’t alive anymore?”_

_“I hadn’t thought of it that way” I mused. I had always loved the stars and looking at them but after what Baekhyun just said, my love for these celestial objects increased even more, possibly even for Baekhyun._

_“I’d like to be a star” Baekhyun said._

_“You would?”_

_Baekhyun nodded. “I want to give off light for the world to see years after I am dead. I want people to listen to my songs and want them to be transported back to my time, even if it is in memories”_

_“Like time travel?”_

_Baekhyun laughed and nodded. “Like time travel”_


	2. A SONG TO END IT ALL

When the time runs out

And the world stops moving

When the last breath is breathed

And the last words spoken

I will still be here, at the end of the world.

You were everything right

In a very wrong time of our lives

The salvation I seek

Is a forsaken dream

Because I am still here, at the end of the world.

My demons don’t hide anymore

They're the shadows I can't escape

Where do I run

There’s no place to go

Because I've already reached the end of the world.

If I ever see you again

If we fall into each others’ lives

If we remember who we used to be

You’ll know that I’ve been waiting for you

That I've always waited for you at the end of the world.


	3. THE END TO END IT ALL

When I woke up in the morning, the day seemed brighter than usual. I smelled the divine fragrance of fresh coffee coming from downstairs and just that gave me the kick I needed to jump from my bed and head down. Today was the first day of college and I had a feeling it would be the best day of my life.

“Good morning mum” I said as I walked into the kitchen and kissed my mum’s cheeks.

“Good morning Chanyeol” she said with a smile. “All set for the first day?”

I nodded as I picked up my mug that had “World’s Best Son” written on it. My mum was really the best when it came to making the perfect cup of coffee. I strongly believed if she wasn’t a human rights lawyer, she would definitely be one heck of a barista.

“Breakfast?” she asked and I nodded, looking around.

“Where is dad?”

“Oh he went out for a walk, said he felt stuffed here”

“Did you two argue again?”

My question raised a very serious look on my mum’s face but she quickly changed her expressions into something more comical, thinking I wouldn’t notice.

But I noticed.

I always noticed.

“We didn’t fight I was just telling him to be more productive around the house is all”

I picked up the toast from the table and lathed it with butter.

“He’s having a hard time too, you know”

My dad was a writer. A very famous one so. But the last book he wrote was published five years ago. He was suffering from a very bad phase of writer’s block which had of late made my dad uninspired and lazy. And it frustrated my mum.

It often came out with my mother being irritated by his lack of interest in things and people around him.

My mum smiled at me and walked over, to place a peck on my forehead. “You’re such a good boy Yeol-ah. How come you are more mature than your own mother sometimes?”

“That’s coz I have both your and dad’s brain mum” I mocked and my mum looked at me in with her squinted eyes.

Just then we heard the door and in came my dad, all soaked in water.

“What happened?” my mum asked as she looked at my dad. “Go get a towel” she told me and I immediately scooted as she rushed over to the foyer.

I brought the towel over and my mom used it to soak the water from my dad’s hair.

“I was walking towards the park by the river when suddenly this group of vandals came out of nowhere and pushed everyone into the water” my dad said.

“What?” my mother asked on shock. “You don’t even know how to swim”

Smiling at my mum slightly, my dad assured her. “There was a young lad there who saved me”

But my mother was agitated. “Did you see who they were? The ones who pushed you?”

My dad shook his head. “The worst part is those kids literally pushed everyone standing by the river. There was an old lady and a kid, barely 8 or 9 years old. They pushed them down too but unfortunately, neither of them survived. The boy who saved me was pretty far from those two and by the time he reached them, they were dead”

“Oh god those poor people” my mum said, wrapping her arms around my dad. “Thank god you’re safe”

Any other day, any other occasion, I would have jumped in too and given my parents a warm hug, but not today. Today I was boiling with rage at whoever had done that to my father, and had killed two innocent people. My dad could have been one of them too.

“Dad” I said and my father looked up at me. “Do you remember anything at all?”

My dad brooded for a few seconds. “Oh” he said. “I was only able to see one of the boys but not too clearly though. Although, I saw them all get into a black minivan”

“A black minivan?” I asked back and my dad nodded.

“It had a weird sticker of a T-Rex with the words ‘If you’re happy and you know it clap your…” my dad gave out a chuckle when he said that.

Both I and my mum looked at him in new dumbfounded gravity. Only my dad could laugh at such times. This was one of the reasons my mum fell in love with him, but today was not fit for such jokes.

“Dad!” I exclaimed and he quickly shut up.

“Right” he said. “Sorry I shouldn’t laugh at a moment like this”

My mum shut her eyes and shook her head in frustration.

“You get ready for college” she said, looking at me and then turned to my dad. “Take a shower and change your clothes. I will ask someone around the office to try and find this van of yours that has to laughing so much. But first we need to file a complaint with the police”

I drove all the way to the college with just one thought in mind. How I would love to take a swing at the kids who had done this to my dad. I hated how helpless I felt, considering how I had no clue about who they were. But my mum had taken over and that reassured me. I was sure the police would find them in no time.

I parked my car in the parking lot and got off.

“Yo Chanyeol” I heard my name being called out and I saw Sehun, my best friend since perhaps before we were born, walking towards me.

“Ssup man?” I asked, fist bumping him. Sehun had been backpacking through Europe the entire summer and it showed on his skin. “The tan looks good on you” I said.

“It does, doesn’t it?” he asked, scooting down to the wing mirror and admiring himself.

“I see the month long trip did nothing but inflate your ego!”

Sehun laughed at what I had just said. “It should be a crime to be this good looking, you know?” he said, never ceasing to admire his own face.

“We’ll be late” I said, dragging Sehun by his hand. “Let’s go”

When we reached the administrative office for our schedules, both Sehun and I realized that we had our first period off that day. We were also required to join a club for extra credit points. We could join as many as we wanted but at least one was mandatory.

“Let’s go around the campus and sign up” Sehun suggested and I happily nodded.

We walked around the campus for a couple of minutes when I spotted the Music Club.

“There” I said, pointing at a group of individuals who were setting up the place.

“Yeah I am not interested in that” Sehun said. “Why don’t we split up? You go talk to them while I take a look around”

It seemed like a good idea so I nodded in approval and we walked in the opposite directions.

Even though I had enrolled in a music program, with my major preferably in composing, I really wanted to work on my vocals too and this club would be perfect for it.

After I signed up and talked to the members of the club for a good half an hour, I bid my farewell after they said the first meeting would be after lunch at 2pm.

I saw Sehun rush towards me with a bundle of flier in his hand.

“What are those?” I asked.

“The clubs I signed up for.”

I snatched the fliers from his hand and stared at them in amusement. There were pamphlets for cooking club, swimming club, manga club, tennis club, baseball club, comic book club, Marvel club, Harry Potter Club…

“Sex Club?” I asked out loud. “You signed into a sex club?”

Sehun looked at me oddly and took back the last paper from my hand. “Oh. I see why you’re confused. It’s a club for gender studies. Not a club for actual intercourse”

I blinked at him, speechless. “How will you even have time for all this?”

“I’ll find a way” he said with a shrug. “Come on, let’s check out the cafeteria. I am starving”

“Didn’t you have breakfast this morning?”

“I did” Sehun said passively. “But there’s always room for more food”

I shook my head and began walking with him when both of us suddenly stopped.

From where we were standing, I saw someone walking towards us with.

“Do you know him?” Sehun asked and I shook my head. I had no clue who the guy was but it was obvious he was smirking at me.

I noted that the guy had a mischievous grin on him. His height was short, well short for my standard since I was extremely tall. He was wearing ripped black jeans that fit his thighs perfectly. The black t-shirt he had on had some planet on it. Jupiter? Perhaps. I wasn’t too sure.

As he came closer, I noticed the delicate features of his face. It was flawless. And somehow the playful smile he was carrying, made it more flawless, if that was even possible.

In the very next moment, the boy stood right before me, staring at me straight in the eyes.

I felt awkward and exposed for some reason I did not understand. This person was no one, he knew nothing about me, so why did I feel like I was being dragged through my emotions, raw and uncovered?

He took one more step towards me but I stood still.

Sehun intervened, putting himself between me and the stranger but the guy placed his hand on Sehun’s chest and pushed him away.

There were no words exchanged as his eyes studied my face and my eyes traveled to every tiny detail of his.

He had freckles on his nose. Tiny freckles that were otherwise not visible until someone saw them up close. And I was, up close. Too close for my liking.

For some reason, the boy did not take his eyes off me and probably for the very same unknown reason, I kept staring at him too.

Suddenly, the boy, as if out of habit, flicked a tiny fraction of his tongue out and licked his lips adorably, leaving a tint of freshly moistened glimmer on them.

I found myself being fixated on the pair of those plump redness and the more I stared, the wilder my thoughts ran.

My eyes slowly travelled to the stranger’s orbs and it was only then that I realized that he had been staring at _my_ lips like I had been staring at his.

A breath escaped the boy’s mouth as he parted his lips and before I knew what was happening, he had pulled me down into a kiss.

At first, I did not know how to react, so I stood still, petrified at what was happening but suddenly, the boy combed his hand through my hair, gripping me tightly. It made me feel like he wanted me really bad and just that thought was a major turn on. I opened my mouth a little and the boy smiled against my lips, knowing that I was as invested in the kiss as he was.

The need to explore more, to feel more and to have more of him was trickling to every muscle in my body. My hands were itching to witness more of this stranger’s soft skin. It seemed like we both had forgotten where we were, like I had forgotten Sehun was standing right beside me. When I was kissing him and when he was kissing me back, none of the world outside the two of us existed.

There were many things running through my mind right at that moment. How was it that a person like me, an introvert, was kissing someone so openly? Someone I didn’t even know, someone I had never met before? How was it that I was so massively attracted to the boy like I had never been attracted to anyone before? How was I feeling things that were new and alien to me? How was it that the thought of breaking the kiss was already breaking my heart?

I had never kissed anyone before. In fact I hadn’t even tried to. I was always too involved in my studies and getting straight A’s prevented me from dating anyone. It was not that I regretted it, but if this was how good a kiss felt, I wished I had done it earlier.

But would it have been as good as it was kissing this guy?

For some reason, I already knew the answer.

He softly bit into my lips as I placed my hand on the nape of his neck and pulled him closer. Our bodies were pressed together, with one of his hands in my hair and the other holding on to the hem of my t-shirt.

He tasted like heaven. And he smelled like green apples. I never thought I would ever notice something as insignificant as this but in that very moment, I wanted to absorb as many details as I could.

I was still nibbling on to his lower lip when he suddenly pulled away.

We stared at each other in absolute silence; faces red and lips swollen.

He blinked.

I blinked.

And just like that, he walked away, leaving me in a mess of emotions and a pool of desires.

Neither I nor Sehun spoke a word about it. He was as shocked as I was and we silently agreed to not discuss what had happened.

I mean I did not even know who the guy was. I didn’t know his name or if he was a student at this college. I did not know why he had kissed me or why I had kissed him back. What was I supposed to even answer to the questions Sehun might have asked?

We separated when we realized we had different classes, agreeing to meet up at the cafeteria for lunch.

I did not have any recollection of the lectures and I surprised myself at how inattentive I’d been throughout the classes. This was not me. I had never behaved this way but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the mysterious boy I had kissed.

First day of college, was it supposed to be so confusing?

I walked out of the lecture room with no idea of what was taught and a brain full of the images of that boy’s freckles. Damn those freckles. They were so adorable that I wanted to keep looking at them for long as I could.

I waltzed into the cafeteria, still preoccupied with the thoughts of the boy who had kissed me, when I heard Sehun call out my name.

He was already sitting with a tray full of food. I picked up what I wanted to eat and joined Sehun.

“What’s your schedule after lunch?” he asked, but his voice was a little stern. The awkwardness of what happened in the morning was still hanging between us.

“I have music club and then I am free”

“Damn” Sehun said. “I have to go to club meetings too and for some reason, I am supposed to be in the Swimming Club and the Beekeepers Club at the same time.”

“The Beekeepers Club?” I asked. “Since when are you interested in bees?”

“Well bees are disappearing and it is a direct threat to humanity and I love being alive so it was kinda natural”

“Nothing about this is natural Sehun” I said and we laughed. The tension was depleting, one sentence at a time.

We talked about other basic stuff and departed again to go to our club meetings.

My club meeting was on the other side of the campus and I would have to walk for a good amount of 20 minutes to get there. Since I did not have that much time to spare, I just decided to take my car.

I parked it outside the building that I realized was actually the recording studio that the university provided for all in house projects.

Just the thought of being in a proper recording setup got me really excited.

I walked in and heard a faint melody coming from a room at the far end. There were some people standing outside the room like they were waiting in a queue.

I recognized a guy I had met at the campus. He was a senior and was probably in charge of the music club. From what I could recall, his name was Suho.

“Ah Chanyeol” he said, looking at me with a smile. “You are right on time”

“What’s happening?” I asked curiously.

“Auditions”

“Auditions?”

Suho nodded. “You didn’t think we would let just anyone join the club now, did you?”

I pursed my lips nervously. “Hyung” I said. “I am no good with vocals. That’s the reason I wanted to join the club”

Suho smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry about it we are not looking for perfectionists. We just need to check if you have the basic knowledge of notes and pitches”

Just then the person who was singing in the studio stopped and walked out with a satisfied smile on his face.

“Kim Jongdae” Suho called after reading the sheet. “You’re next”

A boy, close to Suho’s height got up and went in like he had no care in the world.

I was standing there, sweating my palms out while this guy was as cool as the winter wind.

Even though the studio was sound proof, we could still hear the voices of those singing inside. And this Kim Jongdae had the voice of a god. It was gentle and soft but aggressive at the same time. He caught each note, each pitch perfectly and when he finished, I had goosebumps.

I was still reveling in the magic of his voice when Suho called out my name.

“You’re up Chanyeol”

I blinked at him, unable to move. I was suddenly intimidated by Kim Jongdae’s voice. My self-doubts started creeping back up but before I could refuse, Suho had pushed me into the recording studio.

There I stood, frozen in time, staring right at the condenser mic.

Shit.

What was I supposed to do?

I looked at the door which was shut and contemplated running away. Why did I have to choose the music club of all clubs? I bet Sehun wasn’t asked to sing in the Beekeepers Club. Yes, that was a good choice Sehun had made. Looking after bees was probably easier than this. Bees didn’t judge you based on your vocal skills. They didn’t care if you could sing or not. They only cared about flowers and honey.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, petrified, glaring at the mic like it was a foreign object when a voice suddenly called out.

“Are you okay?”

I turned and stared at the glass panel on my left. I knew there were people sitting right behind the screen, watching me. I felt like a prey being monitored by a hawk who was ready to kill.

“Don’t be nervous.” The voice came back. It was a sweet voice, mellow yet firm. “Calm down. You can take your time”

I continued staring at the glass frame. I was still being watched but strangely enough, me not being able to see them, calmed my nerves a little.

“Whenever you’re ready” the same sweet voice came back, this time, gentler than before.

I felt more in control of myself. This was just an audition. I would be at this college for three years. If I failed this time, I would try again next year. And as for joining a club, I was sure the beekeepers wouldn’t mind an extra hand.

I was not given a note to start with. There was no backup. I was all on my own.

I inhaled deeply and let out a heavy breath.

With that, I closed my eyes and started singing.

Once I was done, there was a silence from those sitting on the opposite of the screen.

“That will be all. You can go now” was all I heard. I was not bothered by the fact that I was probably eliminated. What did bother me was that the voice that said that, was different from the one that had spoken earlier, the one that had calmed me down.

Disappointed at myself, for perhaps not being able to meet their expectations, I walked out of the recording room.

“Gather back in half an hour. We’ll have the results out by then”

I half heard what Suho said and walked away, pretty sure that there was no use in coming back.

I wanted to go home but the campus was becoming emptier and I started liking the idea of lurking around for a little while. I picked up my guitar and my bag from outside the audition room and decided to sit by the pond behind the college building.

There were far less people there and I liked the serenity of the evening that was approaching soon. Resting my back against a giant tree, I took my guitar out and started experimenting with some tunes.

The calmness was inspiring me in a very alluring way.

I opened my bag and fished my notebook and pen out.

At first, I scribbled words on the top of the page, important words that I might use later. I hated recalling words that I couldn’t remember when needed so I had made it a habit of writing random words down so that I could always look for them when I wanted to.

After scribbling for about 15 minutes, I wrote my thoughts down.

When the time runs out

And the world stops moving

When the last breath is breathed

And the last words spoken

I will still be here, at the end of the world.

You were everything right

In a very wrong time of our lives

The salvation I seek

Is a forsaken dream

Because I am still here, at the end of the world.

My demons don’t hide anymore

They're the shadows I can't escape

Where do I run

There’s no place to go

Because I've already reached the end of the world.

If I ever see you again

If we fall into each others’ lives

If we remember who we used to be

You’ll know that I’ve been waiting for you

That I've always waited for you, at the end of the world.

I was about to write more when my eyes wandered off and I saw _him_.

He was walking with a friend, smiling, laughing casually. My heart skipped a beat.

His smile was beautiful. The way the soft corners bent up in a curve, was nothing short of art.

His friends must have noticed me looking at him because they were now walking towards me.

As they approached, I heard them laugh.

“You’re Chanyeol, right?” the other guy asked. “I’m Kai”

_He_ was looking at me now with an expression I could not read. Nothing on his face gave out any hint that we knew each other, that we had kissed in the morning.

Suddenly he took his eyes off me and pulled his phone out.

I nodded at Kai who had asked me the question.

“Do you know me?”

The guy smiled. “I heard you singing at the audition.”

“Oh” I said, disappointed.

Just then another guy came running towards him.

“Yah” he said, catching up to them. “The results are out”

I didn’t care about the results, I didn’t care about anything except the fact that he was ignoring me. He refused to even look up from the screen.

“Oh” the new guy said, pointing his finger at me. “You”

I don’t know why but I felt like the biggest loser in the world. Did everyone in the recording room figure out how bad I had tanked the auditions?

“You’re the guy Baekhyun kissed” the second guy said and I looked at him with gaped eyes.

_His_ name was Baekhyun.

“What the fuck Yixing?” Kai asked. “These two kissed?”

Baekhyun was staring at the guy called Yixing like he would murder him.

“I made a bet with Baekhyun to go up to this fresher in the campus and kiss him.” Yixing said, pointing at me. “I honestly didn’t think he would actually do it.”

If my heart could make a sound, it would be something like the breaking of a glass. I could even feel the shards piercing my chest from all corners.

It was a bet?

I wanted to laugh and I wanted to cry but my emotions were betraying me. How stupid was I to think otherwise?

One of the things that I absolutely hated about myself was that I wore my feelings on my sleeves. There was no filter. When I was happy, it showed. When I was sad, it showed even more prominently.

Baekhyun’s eyes flew to my face for a split second and in the very next moment, he turned around and walked away, with the two of his friends trailing behind him.

After they left, I sat there, motionless, wondering what I had done to be toyed with like that. Wondering what I had done to Baekhyun for him to crush my heart into infinite pieces.

When I regained the last shreds of sanity left inside of me, I realized the sun was about to set. The campus was deserted now. I probably was the only one left behind.

I packed my bag and my guitar and started walking towards the parking area.

I didn’t know what I was feeling anymore. I was not disappointed or angry or sad. I felt none of those emotions. In fact, I felt nothing. I felt empty. I walked towards my car which was parked outside the campus recording studio. For a second, I was tempted to go in and check the list of those who had made the cut.

I almost laughed at the thought. What good would that do? It was not like I would have passed anyway.

I placed my guitar in the back seat along with my bag and was about to open the door of the driver’s seat when a hand grabbed me by my wrist.

It was him. It was Baekhyun.

Before I could ask what he was doing, I was being dragged inside the recording studio by him.

I did not ask any question, I did not say anything. I simply followed behind because I didn’t trust my own words at that point. I didn’t know what I would end up saying, confessing.

I didn’t want Baekhyun to know that ever since the kiss, he was the only one I had been thinking about. That all he had to say was that it was a joke, his friend was joking when he said it was a bet. I would have instantly forgotten about the pain that I was feeling inside of me.

But I chose to remain silent.

Baekhyun dragged me in and soon took me to the end of the hallway where the auditions had taken place.

I didn’t want to go back and be reminded of my own failures but I didn’t fight him. Maybe facing it would help me find something I was searching for.

The only problem, was, I didn’t know what I was searching for.

When we reached the audition room, Baekhyun stopped and I stopped behind him.

I still had no clue why I was there.

“What?” I asked, sounding more annoyed than I intended to.

Baekhyun looked at me with beady eyes and then pointed his finger at the paper stuck on the notice board near the door. It was the list of people who had been accepted to the club.

Kim Jongdae was the first name, and just like that, I knew I wouldn’t have made it.

I almost scoffed. “Are you trying to rub it on my face that I didn’t get selected?”

The list consisted of 20 names. Despite knowing the facts, I still glanced through the names and just like I had thought, I wasn’t on it.

Why was the universe against me today? What had I done to be treated this way?

I was prepared to leave when suddenly, I saw Baekhyun take a pen out from his backpack.

Without hesitation, he wrote the number 21 at the bottom of the list and wrote my name.

I stared at the paper in shock and then at Baekhyun.

“You… you can’t do that” I said, unable to believe how he was meddling with the final decision.

Again, Baekhyun chose not to reply but instead, he pushed me inside the recording room and quickly exited.

I was too surprised to move. What was happening?

Then, a voice echoed from outside the room, right from the opposite side of the screen.

“I can” it said and I felt a surge of familiarity, right down to my bones. It was the same voice that had soothed me when I was nervous during the auditions. It was Baekhyun’s voice.

“You can what?” I asked, a little nervous.

“I can add your name on the list”

I stared at the screen in shock. Even though I was staring at my own reflection, both Baekhyun and I knew I was looking past that, that I was looking straight at Baekhyun.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I am the president of the Music Club” he answered and I noticed a hint of laughter in his voice.

His voice.

It was the best thing I had heard in my life. Suddenly I wondered what it would feel to hear him sing, or just hum. What it would feel to have him whisper my name in my ears. What it would feel to have him moan when we kissed again.

It was a bet. I had to remind myself of the truth.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked.

“The Music Club has seven seniors who get to choose 3 freshers each. Fortunately for you, I have one slot open. Now sing me a song and prove to me that I made the right decision”

Was this another one of his games? Just like the kiss was? Anger began to resurface inside of me.

“I don’t need your charity” I said through gritted teeth and proceeded to walk out of the room.

The moment I was about to open the door, his voice reached me again.

“Chanyeol” he said.

Suddenly, all my defenses, all my resolve melted like the snow under the sun. Just my name being called by him had such maddening affect on me; I was scared to think what would happen if I got myself too invested.

Not wanting to find out the answers to the questions I had been thinking, I gathered my emotions and opened the door.

The moment I stepped out, Baekhyun came running out of the back studio.

“Chanyeol” he said, trying to stop me but I had already made up my mind.

I did not even look at him and walked right past.

Baekhyun ran behind me and caught my arm.

I turned around and jerked his hand away.

“Stop it” I said. “Stop including me in your games. Is this another bet too? To have me fall for your pity like I fell for your kiss? What have I done to you for you to treat me like this?”

Baekhyun stared at me with a gaped mouth. Whatever he was planning to say, I wasn’t interested in listening to.

“I don’t need your pity Baekhyun. I don’t need anything from you. So please, just leave me alone”

I felt like my heart was crying as I said those words. I didn’t understand how I became so vocal about what I was feeling. I had never done that. The only time I actually opened up with my feelings was when I was writing songs. What was Baekhyun doing to me?

Determined to stay as far away as possible, I turned around once again, but this time, instead of walking forward, I found myself being dragged back to the end of the hall.

I had no energy left in me to fight anymore. I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.

So if this was what Baekhyun wanted, I would give it to him. I would let him have the satisfaction of winning. This was probably the only way out.

When Baekhyun dragged me back, he did not push me into the recording studio. This time, he dragged me inside the back studio, where he had been conducting auditions from.

The room was darker than I had expected and I wondered why we were here instead of the recording room.

When I was inside, Baekhyun closed the door behind him and turned around. He rested himself against the large piece of wood and looked straight at me.

For the next few moments, we stared at each other, with our breaths getting heavier with each second. There was a significant amount of space between us but all I could see was his face, glowing under the soft hues of the light that came from the recording room.

He did not take his eyes off me.

I did not take my eyes off him either.

He parted his lips slightly, as if wanting to say something but decided not to.

It was us who were not moving but for some reason, it felt like time had stood still for us.

A drop of sweat trickled down Baekhyun’s neck and I was amazed at how something as common as this looked so extraordinary on him.

Just like the first time, Baekhyun licked his lips suddenly. It was only then that I realized that it was a habit that had stemmed out of nervousness.

Baekhyun was nervous.

I was nervous too.

But why?

I was beginning to feel things that I knew were futile. The morning should not have happened. The kiss should not have happened.

But it did. And then I found out that it was a bet.

All through the morning, I had felt relevant. But now, I felt invisible.

Baekhyun’s eyes didn’t wander. He continued to look at me like I was the only thing that mattered. The look in his eyes told me that I wasn’t invisible after all.

Suddenly, he took a step forward and I could feel my heart beating so loud that it might have jumped out of my chest.

I was going mad at how the tiniest actions by this guy were affecting me so deeply.

When Baekhyun walked towards me, I involuntarily took a step back, unlike this morning when I had stood my grounds.

Noticing my hesitation, Baekhyun retreated to his original position. I could see the hurt on his face. Like he had done something that was not redeemable. His eyes screamed like they were trying to apologize.

In that moment, Baekhyun looked fragile. Like he would come undone under one touch.

I did not like this look on him.

But it made me wonder, how many people had seen Baekhyun look so vulnerable? Suddenly I was jealous, like I was the only one who should be allowed to see him in this state. To save him from this state.

But what rights did I actually have?

I was just a toy he had played with and discarded.

And if that actually was the case, then what was I doing here with him?

I had never been so confused in my life.

The tension in the air between us was mountainous. I could feel it on my skin and I wondered if Baekhyun felt it too.

Probably not.

I was smitten by the kiss in the morning whereas for Baekhyun, it was a lousy bet he had made with his friend.

I was left breathless while he had walked away like it didn’t even happen.

I was left broken while Baekhyun stood in front of me, as whole as one could be.

I was robbed of my first kiss whereas to Baekhyun, it didn’t even matter.

“Let me go” I said, my voice weaker than I expected, like I did not believe in what I was saying.

Baekhyun did not move.

I walked forward and held the doorknob in my palm.

Baekhyun still did not move.

I looked at him and he tilted his head up, to look into my eyes, as if tracing hints of my betrayal towards my own words.

We stood so close to each other that I could just steal a kiss if I bent down an inch.

Just an inch.

An inch was how close we were to each other.

And an inch was how far we were.

I could feel Baekhyun’s breath on my neck, sending shivers down my body on a hot summer evening.

He licked his lips one more time and I lost every last shred of reasoning I had within me.

I did not care if it was a bet, I did not care how hurt I felt, I did not care how stupid I was being.

All I knew was that I needed to do it.

And just like that, I closed the gap between us, crashing my lips down to Baekhyun’s moist, tempting ones.

I was surprised by my own desires but what surprised me more was that Baekhyun had started kissing me back, almost immediately.

My heart was uncontrollable. It pumped at a pace that shouldn’t have been humanly possible. Baekhyun tasted even sweeter than he did in the morning. Was it really him or was it the intoxication I was under?

An intoxication called Baekhyun.

I shifted a little and pressed Baekhyun against the door and I explored the insides of his maw with my tongue.

I didn’t even know if I was kissing him properly but the way Baekhyun reacted, told me that I wasn’t doing anything wrong at least.

My head was spinning. I reached for a quick gush of breath, breaking the kiss but Baekhyun wrapped his hands around my neck and claimed me again.

His hands ran all over me. They were on my shoulders, running through my arms, holding my waist, pressing against my back and then his hands were under my t-shirt.

This was more than what I could take. The animal inside of me was getting harder and harder to control. I bent down a little and pulled Baekhyun up as he wrapped his legs around my waist. My lips still connected to his, I walked over to the empty area near the sound mixer on the counter and released him lightly.

The height was advantageous for the both of is. I did not have to bend down anymore, neither did Baekhyun have to tip toe to kiss me.

When I made Baekhyun sit on the counter, we pulled away for a while. I looked at his face, memorizing the formation of his freckles and how crazy they had made me this morning. How crazy they still made me.

I lifted his face up a little, nudging his chin lightly with my finger and kissed the freckles that covered his nose.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and breathed me in.

Then I traced my lips down his face and planted a kiss on his jaw line. I loved how soft Baekhyun’s skin felt against my lips.

I went further down and placed a long kiss on his neck.

Baekhyun let out a heavy breath, like he had been holding on to it for quite a while. I looked up and his eyes were still closed.

I moved to the other side of the neck but this time, I did not kiss it. Instead, I nibbled on it lightly.

“Ah” Baekhyun moaned and I felt my knees giving out at the sound he was making.

With slightly more force, I sucked on the soft supple skin on his neck and this time, I earned a bigger moan.

It made me hungry. Every reaction Baekhyun gave left me wanting for more. I did not want to stop. Not until I would hear him groan my name out.

I traced my fingers down his neck and through his collarbone.

And then, I sucked onto the skin there.

Baekhyun cried once more in pleasure but then he stopped me.

“Not too hard Chanyeol” he said softly. “You will leave a mark”

“Good” I said immediately. “I want them to know this was not a bet”

Something changed in Baekhyun’s eyes when he heard me say that. I did not know what it was, but the way he looked at me was different now.

Baekhyun placed both his hands on my face and pulled me towards him, kissing me more wildly than he had done until now.

It lasted only a few seconds and then Baekhyun drew back.

“Then we do it properly” he said with a smile and reached his hand out to the hem of my t-shirt.

Before I knew it, I was standing there semi naked with just my trousers on.

Baekhyun slid a little forward until he was only resting on the counter partially and until our bodies were touching each other.

He slid his hand on the nape of my neck and titled his head till he had uninterrupted access to my neck.

Then, I felt Baekhyun sucking on my skin softly. He switched between nibbling and sucking frequently until I felt his presence on every muscle of my body.

Were there enough words in any language to describe the feeling I was going through? Probably not because nothing came to my mind. I felt everything at once. Like all the emotions in the world had wrapped themselves up and decided to burst together inside of me. I was going crazy and it was Baekhyun who was driving me crazy.

This feeling was new. Everything about this was new. No one had touched me the way Baekhyun did. No one had touched me at all. And yet when I felt Baekhyun’s tongue on the slants of my neck, I knew that this is what I had been waiting for. To be touched, to be explored like the way Baekhyun was touching me, exploring me.

I had been trying too hard to control myself from moaning but I couldn’t anymore.

“Mmhm” I cried and suddenly Baekhyun became more aggressive.

I wanted to scream into his ears, call his name, beg him to call my name. I did not know why but just the thought of us whispering our names into the others’ ears was a high I did not know I needed to feel. I was drunk on my own cravings. I was drunk on my cravings for Baekhyun.

He suddenly shifted position and marked the right side of my neck and the more aggressive he became, the hornier I got.

“Ah… stop” I said, unable to understand my own desires. I felt like I would explode under the throbbing I felt below.

Baekhyun took a pause and looked straight at me.

The light brown eyes that stared into my own dark ones had to be the prettiest shapes to be ever made. Baekhyun looked like a fairy tale. My own fairy tale and I wondered if it had a happy ending.

“Is something wrong?” he asked, grazing his finger to the corner of his lips, erasing away the last traces of his marks of my neck.

I could feel the rise and fall of my chest heavily.

Suddenly Baekhyun blinked and the look in his eyes shifted again. I tried to understand what he was thinking but I was lost.

“I am sorry” Baekhyun said, the same look of hurt was back on his face and all I did was pray in that moment. I prayed, wishing for this to not be another bet.

“I am so sorry Chanyeol. I went too far”

I blinked in disbelief. “What?”

“The hickeys” Baekhyun said, pointing to my neck. “They’re too visible. I think I shouldn’t have given you the second one”

I did not move. I wanted to laugh at what he had said but my heart wanted to cry, thanking the heavens for not turning this into another one of those stupid games. My fix was probably evident on my face.

I felt Baekhyun’s hand graze up and down my arm.

“Breathe” he said, forming his lips in a subtle pout and exhaling a gush of air. “Breathe Chanyeol”

Why did I want to keep hearing my name being called out by him again and again? Why did I feel like my name only had meaning when it was escaping Baekhyun’s lips? Why did I feel like I was named only for Baekhyun to whisper them into my ears?

When I heard him call my name this time, there was affection in it. I was sure. I was pretty damn sure because that’s how I wanted to call his name out.

And so, I let go of the breath I had been holding, letting my heart at ease.

Baekhyun was the air I was breathing and just because of that, I wanted to keep breathing forever.

He suddenly got off the counter and picked my t-shirt up before throwing it at me.

“Let’s go” he said.

“Where?”

“To eat something, I am hungry”

I had to admit I was a little disappointed that we were not kissing anymore. But eating was good too. As long as we were doing it together. I wouldn’t even mind doing nothing if nothing was something we did in each others’ company.

Baekhyun walked ahead of me and reached for the door as I pulled my t-shirt on and rushed behind him.

But just before he opened the door, he turned back one again and pulled my face down, leaving a reminder of what had just happened.

And something told me it was about to happen a lot more often.

I could still feel his stolen kiss on my lips and I was still knocked off my senses when Baekhyun smiled and walked out the door.

“Chanyeol are you coming?” he called from the hallways and just like that, the mention of my name by him had me trailing behind.

We decided to go to the nearest Subway since the close proximity to the campus would mean fewer people and a cool corner for us to sit.

We took the seat far back that had a large sofa stuck to the wall.

Baekhyun and I sat on the same side, his knees falling on my thighs and my hand tracing lines against his calves.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I asked Baekhyun after a while. “Or a girlfriend?”

I was not looking at Baekhyun for some reason but I could tell he had turned to look at me.

“Yes I do” he said plainly and I finally turned towards him.

“You do?” I asked in shock.

Baekhyun nodded.

“Which one?”

“Both” he said. “I have a boyfriend _and_ a girlfriend”

I stared at him blankly. “I am sorry, what?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Yeah I make boyfriends and girlfriends like it’s a hobby. I also go around kissing random boys every Monday. On Tuesdays I make out with random girls” he took and pause and tapped his finger on his chin. “Or is it Wednesdays?”

He looked at me. “I really can’t say Chanyeol, you see my schedule is so busy, meeting new people every day and making out with them, oof it’s exhausting”

He rolled his eyes and all I could do was keep staring at him.

What had I just heard?

“Do you have a boyfriend?” he asked back. “Or perhaps a girlfriend?”

“Oh yeah” I answered, not sure why I was lying. “Big time”

“Big time?” Baekhyun asked, chucking, and for a moment, I got lost in that sound. Baekhyun looked so tiny and yet his laugh was deep and husky. It made me smile too.

“I am sorry. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend” I immediately confessed. “I don’t know why I lied”

Baekhyun smiled at me and leaned in closer. Too close. Very close.

I felt his breath on my ears.

“I don’t either, Chanyeol” was all he whispered before getting back to the sandwich he had abandoned midway.

He ate in silence, like an angel who had no clue what his close whispering had just done to my nether regions, again.

For the next few minutes, we talked about random things.

I found out Baekhyun loved musicals and he loved Broadway. His favorites were Dear Evan Hansen and Moulin Rouge.

He said he wanted to go to New York after college and see the plays live.

I loved how Baekhyun had a plan, even if it was a small one. I, on the other hand had no plans. I told Baekhyun I wanted to be a composer and it got him excited. He told me he had always wanted to be a vocalist.

“Maybe we can work together in the future. You compose and we both sing” he said.

“Or” I said, suggesting an alternative. “I compose and only you sing”

Baekhyun looked disappointed at what I had just said.

“Why do you have so much self-doubt about your vocals?”

I shrugged. “I’m no good. At least not as good as that Kim Jongdae”

Baekhyun smiled at the certain hint of jealously in my voice.

“No one is as good as the other, Chanyeol. You are only as good as you can be. I heard your voice. I heard you sing. I am no expert but I know a thing or two about this talent, and you have it”

I shook my head. “No Baekhyun. I don’t”

“Yes you do. Your voice has a texture that is unique and soothing. Your coarse edges and your velvety consistency is what most people would kill for. Can you please just trust yourself as much as I trust your voice?”

“What do you mean by trust?” I asked.

Baekhyun turned my hand over and started tracing random shapes in my palm.

“What?” I asked again.

He tapped on my palm once and started tracing once more.

“S-A-Y” I said reading the letters he was tracing one by one. “Y-E-S”

I looked up from my hand. “Say yes to what?” I asked.

“The Music Club” he said with a smile and I swear that smile was so contagious that I couldn’t say no. I just couldn’t.

Baekhyun, the boy with the freckles, he boy who loved Broadway and the boy who had a dream, was also the boy I was beginning to fall in love with. 

As we walked out of Subway, I took Baekhyun’s hand and stopped him from walking. He turned around and tilted his head to the right, asking me what was up, an expression I could now read on his face.

“Sing for me” I said.

Baekhyun’s eyes gaped wide open. “Now? Here?”

I nodded. I didn’t care where we were.

“You’re crazy” he said before giving off his beautiful smile and dragging me behind him.

We walked for a few minutes and went back to the campus.

He did not sing.

Somewhere along the walk, Baekhyun slid his hand into mine as we walked next to each other.

His fingers entwined with mine and I felt like this is where my hands belonged, in Baekhyun’s hold.

I smiled.

Never had I thought this day would take such an unexpected turn. I finally understood what people meant when they said a single day can change your life because now, I was a living testimony to it.

When we reached the campus, the lights were dim. There were still a couple of students roaming around but everyone was busy with themselves to notice the two of us walking in, our hand stuck to each other.

“When do you have to get back home?” I asked Baekhyun but he didn’t answer. Instead, he smiled at me and indicated that we should keep walking.

I check the time and it was a little after 7 in the evening. I still had time to go back home and I didn’t really want to let go of Baekhyun just yet.

I nudged his hand a little and he looked at me in confusion.

Without saying a word, I picked my pace up, dragging Baekhyun behind me.

“Where are we going?” he asked, running behind me.

“The pond” I said.

The area behind the college was empty. I took Baekhyun to where I had been sitting earlier and we both settled on the grass under the open sky.

I pulled my hand behind my head and lied down, looking straight at the stars. Baekhyun gave out a light laugh and followed after me.

“What are we doing?” Baekhyun asked after a moment of silence.

“Stargazing” I replied.

“Can you sing for me?” I asked for the second time this night.

Baekhyun remained silent for a minute.

“Tomorrow” he said. “I promise I will sing for you tomorrow”

That was good enough for me. Tomorrow was a promise I looked forward to.

For the next few minutes, we looked at the wonders of the universe. Stars were mysterious to me. Much like Baekhyun.

“Did you know some of the stars that you see right now, have been dead for thousands of years?”

“What?” Baekhyun asked in surprise. “How come they’re still visible?”

“Light takes time to travel so even if the stars are dead, their light still remains in space, for everyone to see for millions of years after their demise”

“And here we were, thinking time travel wasn’t possible”

I turned my head and looked at Baekhyun in astonishment. “What do you mean?”

“Well” he began, tracing invisible lines in the air, connecting one star with the other, “if we can see a star that has been dead for years and years, aren’t we actually looking through time, rather, travelling in time? Witnessing something that, right at this moment, far out in the galaxy, isn’t alive anymore?”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way” I mused. I had always loved the stars and looking at them but after what Baekhyun just said, my love for the stars increased even more, possibly even for Baekhyun.

“I’d like to be a star” Baekhyun said.

“You would?”

Baekhyun nodded. “I want to give off light for the world to see years after I am dead. I want people to listen to my songs and want them to be transported back to my time, even if it is in memories”

“Like time travel?”

Baekhyun laughed and nodded. “Like time travel”

When I heard Baekhyun say that, I truly prayed from the bottom of my heart that even if none of my dreams came true, I wished his did. I bargained my own dreams away, ready to give up on everything I wanted, if only the universe would let Baekhyun have this one dream.

I cupped Baekhyun’s face and drew him in, placing a kiss on his lips. Baekhyun closed his eyes and kissed me back, sliding his hand under my arm and gripping me from my back.

He nudged me a little until I was lying flat on the grass and Baekhyun was lightly hanging on top of me as we kissed the night away.

Again, it was Baekhyun who drew away first while I was still basking in the glory of being kissed by him.

He turned his face away and rested his head on my chest.

We stayed still and even the stars did not move.

“Chanyeol” he said after a while. “I need to tell you something”

He got up and stood straight and I felt my heart dropping,

“Baekhyun I swear to god if you tell me this is a bet I w…”

He presses his fingers against my lips, preventing me from completing what I was going to say and shook his head.

“It was not a bet Chanyeol” he said, “This was not a bet”

“Can I ask you something?” I asked

Baekhyun nodded.

“Why did you choose me? In the morning?”

Baekhyun looked at me straight in the eye and I knew just like that, that whatever he was about to say next, would be the raw truth.

“Trust me when I say this Chanyeol, but I liked you since I first saw you”

“First saw me?”

Baekhyun nodded. “I noticed you first when you pulled your car into the parking lot. Then I noticed you again when I was in the admin building to get the forms for Music Club. After that I noticed you when you were walking away from our club booth out on the campus”

“So it wasn’t random?”

Baekhyun shook his head. “Yixing noticed that I had been staring at you all day but when he confronted me, I panicked and said it was actually your friend I was looking at”

“Sehun?” I asked and laughed a little.

Baekhyun smiled. “That’s when Yixing made a bet asking me to kiss you because he knew I was actually looking at you and that I wouldn’t do anything stupid or rushed. He was certain I would decline and he would win. But then I did kiss you and…”

“And?”

“And I wanted to keep kissing you”

Thank god it was dark and there was no direct visible light on my face or Baekhyun would have seen how hard I was blushing.

It wasn’t random. The kiss wasn’t random at all. Baekhyun noticed me first. He liked me first. And I felt like I could conquer the world in this moment if I wanted to.

“I like you too” I said suddenly and Baekhyun’s eyes widened. “I like you too Baekhyun”

I saw him smile and look down. This was the most adorable thing I had seen Baekhyun do and all I wanted was to kiss him again.

“Before you actually like me Chanyeol, I need to tell you something”

“What is it?”

Baekhyun took a pause. Like he was fighting within himself if he should tell this to me or not.

“Chanyeol” Baekhyun began. “I’ve never been in a relationship before. I have always distanced myself from people. The only consistency I have in my life is this college and the Music Club”

I stared at him and pondered at his words. What was he trying to say to me?

“I come from a very messed up family. My mother left me and my brother when we were kids and my father is an alcoholic”

“Oh god Baekhyun, I am so sorry”

“No Chanyeol. Please don’t sympathize with me. Just listen to me first”

I nodded and Baekhyun continued.

“When you asked by what time I needed to get back home, I didn’t reply because I never want to go to that place. I stay out in the campus for as long as I can and I only go home late at night when I am sure my father’s asleep. I go there only to sleep and shower”

“And your brother?”

“He is in high school. I work so hard at college because I want to set a good example for him. I want to be able to give him a good life but sometimes, he becomes his father’s son”

“What do you mean?”

“My brother has had many run-ins with the law Chanyeol. He keeps getting in trouble. He’s done a lot of bad things and I don’t think I can save him anymore. But I still want to”

I did not know what came over me but I immediately rushed forward and took Baekhyun in my arms.

“Baekhyun” I said, “If you think this will make me like you any less, you’re wrong. If anything, I like you even more now”

Baekhyun pulled himself away and looked at me. “Please don’t kid Chanyeol”

“I am not kidding. I absolutely admire what you are, considering what you have been through. I love how you care about your brother despite what you know he has done. Not many people have this much strength to bear and this much love to give”

“You… you really don’t care about how messed up my family is? About the things my brother has done?”

I shook my head. “You are not your brother Baekhyun. You are not defined by his choices. And if you think your brother can be saved, that he deserves to be saved, I will give you the support that you need.”

Even if the night was high, I saw Baekhyun’s eyes moistened.

“I’ve never told this to anyone” Baekhyun said. “Thank you for listening to me”

“Thank you for trusting me” was all I said.

I hugged him again and this time, I let him cry on my shoulders.

In that very moment, Baekhyun burned down all his defenses and he let the tears wash away all that he had been keeping inside of him until now.

Suddenly his phone rang.

Baekhyun wiped his tears and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” he asked.

I had no clue what Baekhyun heard on the other end because in the very next moment, he got up hurriedly.

“I have to go” he said quickly.

“Baekhyun wait, what is wrong?”

“It’s my brother, he’s in trouble again”

“I’ll take you” I offered.

“No Chanyeol. Not yet. Please” Baekhyun said, turning to me. “Just not yet”

I understood what he meant so I nodded.

He rushed over to me and kissed me one last time.

“Remember I’ll sing for you tomorrow” he said, against my lips and I nodded again, kissing him back.

Tomorrow.

I watched Baekhyun run out of the campus. I still had no clue what was up but I was sure he would tell me the next day.

Clearing my mind, I walked over to the parking lot near the recording studio where I had parked my car.

As I opened the front door, I saw my bag pack on the back seat that had stars painted on the front.

“Time travel” I whispered to myself and smiled.

Whatever Baekhyun was, he was mesmerizing.

I was about to get in when my phone buzzed. It was my mum. I realized that it was past 9 now and she would be worried sick.

I picked up.

“Mum I know. I am sorry I’m late I’ll be there…”

I was cut off.

“Chanyeol” my mum whispered. “Don’t come home tonight”

“Mum” I said. “Mum, are you mad at me? Look I am sorry okay”

“Chanyeol, please” it was only then that I noticed that my mother was crying while whispering. “Please son, mo matter what happens, promise me you won’t come home tonight”

“Mum what’s going…”

The call hung up before I could ask what had happened.

I bolt of panic ran through my body. What was happening? Why was my mother crying? Why was she whispering? Why had she asked me not to come home?

I shook my head as my mind started flooding with worst case scenarios.

Dialing my mum’s number, I called her.

The phone had been switched off.

There was something wrong. I knew it. I could feel it.

I rushed inside my car and despite my mum telling me not to come home, I drove back. I did not know what was going on but I was not about to let my parents be on their own.

With random episodes of panic after dialing my parents’ number multiple times, only to never have gotten the call through, I finally reached home half an hour later.

A black minivan was parked out front but I did not pay much to it. My mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of my parents.

As I stepped up the porch, I noticed the front door was ajar.

I carefully walked in.

All the lights were off and it was odd because the lights in my house were always on at night. My dad was scared of darkness, even if he insisted he wasn’t. So my mum always pretended to be scared instead so that the lights would be on.

When I walked past the foyer, I saw no one there. My parents were nowhere to be seen.

I was about to call my mother again when I heard indistinct chatter coming from upstairs.

And it was not my parents’ voice.

Over the past years, my mother had made many enemies, being the human rights lawyer. Top corporate to industry giants hated her guts.

Once when I was 5, we had one such company owner sent someone to threaten mum to drop the case that she was fighting. The man was abusing his employees, making them work without food or sleep which had led to many on site deaths. When my mother took the case, the man knew he was gone for, so he tried to shut her up.

Ever since that day, my mother kept a gun stuck to the bottom of the table near the foyer.

It was for emergency uses only and this, right now, felt like an emergency.

I quickly unstrapped the gun from below the table and held it firmly in my hand. I had taken shooting practice in High School when I had a sudden epiphany that I wanted to complete in the Olympics. It was soon revealed that although I was good, I wasn’t Olympic level good. But I knew I wouldn’t miss if I had to hit someone who was endangering my family.

I walked up the stairs as quietly as I could. The gun was beginning to warm up in my hand. A cold sweat trickled down my forehead when I thought about my mum and my dad. Where were they?

When I reached upstairs, I realized the noise was coming from the room at the far end.

I stood there, motionless, listening in to what was happening.

“Don’t try to stop me” a voice cried. It was a young voice, of a teenager perhaps. “He is the only witness”

This boy’s voice was loud and clear.

But there was someone else in the room. Someone who was speaking to that teenager. I couldn’t make out his words as they were too low.

“No hyung” the young boy screamed. “There is no other way. If I kill him, I won’t have to go to jail”

Kill? My legs started shaking. Who were they talking about?

“He gave a statement to the police identifying our van. I was the only one he identified” the young boy said. He seemed to be crying now. “I don’t want to go to jail. You don’t know what they do to me there. If I only… if I only kill this bastard, I will be free”

Suddenly it all started making sense. They were talking about my dad. He was the one who had seen the van in the morning from when an old lady and a kid had died.

My breathing paced. If they were talking about my dad, it meant…. It meant it was him they were planning to kill.

I was about to take a step forward when suddenly my father’s voice echoed from the room.

“Killing me won’t save you son. It won’t stop the police from coming after you”

“Shut the fuck up” the young boy yelled.

“Your stupidity killed those two poor souls. It was murder”

“I didn’t mean to, okay?” the boy was crying again. “I didn’t mean to kill them”

“But you mean to kill me?” my father asked. His voice was strangely composed.

“Yes. Yes” the boy hissed. “Killing you will solve everything. I am sorry, but I have to”

There was no time. What was I doing standing out in the hall when I should be inside, protecting my father?

“No” I yelled as I barged into the room with a gun drawn forward.

Three pair of eyes turned towards me.

My father’s.

The young boy’s.

And Baekhyun’s.

I stared at him, washed in shock and horror. What was he doing here? The guy who had killed those two people in the park, he had called Baekhyun hyung.

Did this mean... Did this mean he was Baekhyun’s younger brother?

“Chanyeol” my dad said, “Chanyeol get out”

I heard a breath escape Baekhyun’s lips.

I wasn’t listening to my dad anymore. I wasn’t looking at Baekhyun anymore.

My eyes were fixed on what was sprawled on the floor not far from where my dad stood.

“Mum” I said, with tears in my eyes.

She was lying on the floor, face down, in a pool of her own blood.

“Mum” I screamed.

I remembered screaming. I remembered being angry and hurt and then angry again. I remembered hearing a gunshot and I remembered my dad slumping to the floor. I remembered laughing and crying and pulling the trigger through my screams.

I remembered Baekhyun yelling and I remembered him trying to protect his brother.

I remembered my bullet piercing right through Baekhyun’s heart and I remembered the promise of tomorrow.

My mother’s smile, my father’s jokes, Baekhyun’s voice, all vanished into thin air.

Another gunshot.

And then I felt something hot tearing through my chest.

The last thing I remembered is falling to the floor and staring into Baekhyun’s face before his hand somehow found mine as he weakly traced something on my palm.

S-O-R-R-Y.

And I did not know what hurt more. The fact that Baekhyun’s brother had killed my parents, or that I had killed him.

The only thing that did not hurt was my own death.

As I closed my eyes, the only thing I recalled was that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. I realized that this wasn’t the first time I had seen my parents die and it wasn’t the first time I had killed Baekhyun.

I opened my eyes and gasped for air.

“Prisoner ZXA1782B” a loud automated voice rang in my ears. “Simulation over”

I looked around. Everything was white. And I had never felt so dirty in my entire life.

I did not know where I was or what I was doing here but I was beginning to remember things.

My parents, my first day of college, Sehun. I remembered them all.

And I remembered Baekhyun, the boy with the freckles.

I never got to hear him sing.

He never got a chance to go to New York and see his favorite plays. He never got a chance to become a star.

He never got to sings those songs he wanted me to compose.

I never got a chance to time travel with him because it was I who had killed him.

It was I who had put an end to everything that he ever wanted to be.

Was Baekhyun in heaven? I wondered. Deep within I knew he was. Where else do angels go if not heaven? Maybe he did become a star and was shining brightly in the night sky.

Maybe others were travelling in time through his light.

His face was still fresh in my mind. His smile was still contagious to me and his touch was still alive on my skin.

One day can change your life. It had.

One person can change your life. He had.

My eyes moistened as I became consumed in my own guilt and sin.

Baekhyun did not deserve to die. He deserved to live a long, happy life. But I had robbed him of it. I had killed him.

I wanted to go back and I wanted to undo it all.

Time travel.

I wanted to travel back in time and stop this entire day from happening.

I ran from one corner of the white room to the other but no matter how much I ran, the room never ended. There was no door. There were no windows. It was only oceans and oceans of white.

“Where am I?” I asked, giving up finally.

“You are in the Empty” the automated voice replied.

The Empty?

For some reason, I felt like I’ve had this conversation before. I’ve had heard this answer before.

I stared at the blinding whiteness in confusion. And then it came back to me.

The Empty was the place where the souls that refused to move on from their life on earth, were sent.

I was in the Empty.

If this was true then it meant…

“Prisoner ZXA1782B personal hell reenactment number 167281 complete” the automated voice called out again.

Reenactment number 167281?

I had gone through this 167281 times? I had lived this same day 167281 times?

And I finally understood why this was my personal hell.

Because I had been living the same day, over and over again for over 400 years.

I had been loving Baekhyun for over 400 years.

And I had been killing him for over 400 years.

And this was my personal hell because I had chosen to be here.

“Prisoner ZXA1782B has had a full recollection of his life on earth” the automated voice said. “We will now proceed with total memory swipe.”

“No” I screamed. “I don’t want to forget Baekhyun. Please. Please” I cried.

“Total memory swipe begins in 3… 2… 1”

A drop of tear trailed down my face when I realized that this would happen all over again.

This was my only reality now and what I lived everyday, was what I deserved.

I would live this all over again. Over and over again.

I will live Baekhyun everyday.

_You were everything right_

_In a very wrong time of our lives_

_The salvation I seek_

_Is a forsaken dream_

_Because I am still here, at the end of the world._

_If I ever see you again_

_If we fall into each others’ lives_

_If we remember who we used to be_

_You’ll know that I’ve been waiting for you_

_That I’ve always waited for you at the end of the world._

I closed my eyes and finally realized why I had made this decision to live the same day over and over again. It was the last day I saw my parents. It was the first day I saw Baekhyun and it was the only day I saw Baekhyun.

If living the same day on loop meant I could see him once again, could hear his voice once again, could talk to him and feel the warmth of his smile once again, I would keep doing it till the end of time.

“Prisoner ZXA1782B personal hell reenactment number 167282 starts now”

I opened my eyes and then it was all blank.

When I woke up in the morning, the day seemed brighter than usual. I smelled the divine fragrance of fresh coffee coming from downstairs and just that gave me the kick I needed to jump from my bed and head down. Today was the first day of college and I had a feeling it would be the best day of my life.

_Or the worst. _

**Author's Note:**

> Okay... So I know it was major ansgt.
> 
> But I got this idea from a prompt i read on Pinterest that's was something like... Start the story with a happy, upbeat sentence and end it with the same line, but this time, itis dark and twisted.... And this happened.


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